How to Practice Contemplative Cross Stitch
image by Alícia Roselló Gené
This is a guide to get you started with contemplative crafting using cross stitch.
Read through the these instructions first then gather your materials (you should have already prepared the fabric for stitching, if not, refer to the first installment of the SAL for gridding and other instructions), find a quiet space in your home where you can work, put away the phone, turn off the tv or other such electronics, and set up to practice the exercise.
With your pattern chart before you take a moment or two to familiarize yourself with the project and the particular section that you will be working on. As you review the pattern take a moment to notice your breathing wherever it is as sit there. No need to control the breath, just notice that the body is breathing. When you have acquainted yourself with what you will be working on, you can begin crafting.
Read through the these instructions first then gather your materials (you should have already prepared the fabric for stitching, if not, refer to the first installment of the SAL for gridding and other instructions), find a quiet space in your home where you can work, put away the phone, turn off the tv or other such electronics, and set up to practice the exercise.
With your pattern chart before you take a moment or two to familiarize yourself with the project and the particular section that you will be working on. As you review the pattern take a moment to notice your breathing wherever it is as sit there. No need to control the breath, just notice that the body is breathing. When you have acquainted yourself with what you will be working on, you can begin crafting.
First you will thread the needle. As you select the appropriate floss color, notice the colors, and when you pick the floss up, notice what it feels like. If you need to separate the threads, notice as you do so. What do you notice as you pay attention to the sensory experience of preparing the threads? When you are ready pick up the needle and notice the sensation of the needle in your fingers. As you thread the needle, pay attention to the breath. If you notice you are holding the breath, pause and take a moment to let the body breath. Notice the body breathing, then continue with threading the needle. Once the needle is threaded you are ready to begin stitching.
Locate the appropriate starting place for the pattern and double check that you are starting in the right place on the fabric! Then, begin stitching. Slowly stitch each arm “/“ or "\" of the “x”. Focus all your attention on making one arm at a time and avoid following any thoughts that may arise to interfere with your crafting. Every time you notice a thought has lead you astray, pause, notice the breath, then continue stitching.
For example, you will start your stitch…the first “/", then the second “/“ or “\” (depending on where you are in the pattern)…"I wonder what I should make for dinner, I really need to go check the refrigerator to see what…oops! I’m thinking!"…pause, notice your breath: it’s moving in, now it’s moving out…then stitch another “/“ or “\” (depending on where you are in the pattern)…"I hope this project turns out good. I’m new at this, I wonder if it is a waste of time..Oh! I’m thinking again"….pause, notice your breath, it’s moving out, and now moving in…then, stitch another “/“ or “\” (depending on where you are in the pattern)…and so on.
Try to continue this exercise until you have successfully focused on the stitching and let all other thoughts pass by without distracting you. It is important to remember that you will not get rid of your thinking. Our brain is continually making thoughts. That's okay, it's what our brain does, we can’t stop that, and we're not supposed to. We can, however, choose where to direct our attention. With contemplative crafting we are directing our attention to focus on what we are doing, while we are doing it, rather than following the thinking wherever it wants us to go.
When you are first learning mindfulness, you may only be able to achieve one or two “/“s or perhaps even a few complete “x”s before your thinking distracts you and takes you anywhere but with what you are doing. That’s okay. Be kind and patient with yourself. Mindfulness isn’t easy, especially in the beginning. But with consistent practice you will find it easier to stay focused on the craft, while your thoughts stream by like clouds across the sky.
Locate the appropriate starting place for the pattern and double check that you are starting in the right place on the fabric! Then, begin stitching. Slowly stitch each arm “/“ or "\" of the “x”. Focus all your attention on making one arm at a time and avoid following any thoughts that may arise to interfere with your crafting. Every time you notice a thought has lead you astray, pause, notice the breath, then continue stitching.
For example, you will start your stitch…the first “/", then the second “/“ or “\” (depending on where you are in the pattern)…"I wonder what I should make for dinner, I really need to go check the refrigerator to see what…oops! I’m thinking!"…pause, notice your breath: it’s moving in, now it’s moving out…then stitch another “/“ or “\” (depending on where you are in the pattern)…"I hope this project turns out good. I’m new at this, I wonder if it is a waste of time..Oh! I’m thinking again"….pause, notice your breath, it’s moving out, and now moving in…then, stitch another “/“ or “\” (depending on where you are in the pattern)…and so on.
Try to continue this exercise until you have successfully focused on the stitching and let all other thoughts pass by without distracting you. It is important to remember that you will not get rid of your thinking. Our brain is continually making thoughts. That's okay, it's what our brain does, we can’t stop that, and we're not supposed to. We can, however, choose where to direct our attention. With contemplative crafting we are directing our attention to focus on what we are doing, while we are doing it, rather than following the thinking wherever it wants us to go.
When you are first learning mindfulness, you may only be able to achieve one or two “/“s or perhaps even a few complete “x”s before your thinking distracts you and takes you anywhere but with what you are doing. That’s okay. Be kind and patient with yourself. Mindfulness isn’t easy, especially in the beginning. But with consistent practice you will find it easier to stay focused on the craft, while your thoughts stream by like clouds across the sky.
Be Patient and Kind with Yourself!
In the beginning, especially if you have never practiced meditation, you may want to practice this contemplative crafting technique for five or ten minutes, then take a break and continue for another five or ten minutes. Building focus and attention skills can be draining at the start and you don’t want to push yourself too hard and make contemplative crafting an unpleasant experience! Remember this is meant to help us slow down, relax the body and clear the mind of unnecessary busyness and distress. There is no need to hurry. Take your time and enjoy the process!
Once you are better at staying focused on your contemplative crafting, you may find a natural, comfortable or relaxed rhythm of stitching and breathing appear. This isn’t good or bad. Don't dwell on it or try to get attain it, just notice and continue your stitching. Some days you may find the moment you sit down and begin stitching your body relaxes and the mind stays focused with little or few instances of wandering. Other days you may find it challenging to stay focused and for the body to relax. Either situation is neither good or bad, it's just what is happening with you that moment. In each case, the method of practice doesn’t change. Some days will be easier and others not so much. The key here is in avoiding giving over to judging, criticizing or wanting what is happening to be different than it is at any particular moment. No matter what is happening in our body and mind as we craft the task is to continue stitching, one “/“ or “\” at a time.
In the beginning, especially if you have never practiced meditation, you may want to practice this contemplative crafting technique for five or ten minutes, then take a break and continue for another five or ten minutes. Building focus and attention skills can be draining at the start and you don’t want to push yourself too hard and make contemplative crafting an unpleasant experience! Remember this is meant to help us slow down, relax the body and clear the mind of unnecessary busyness and distress. There is no need to hurry. Take your time and enjoy the process!
Once you are better at staying focused on your contemplative crafting, you may find a natural, comfortable or relaxed rhythm of stitching and breathing appear. This isn’t good or bad. Don't dwell on it or try to get attain it, just notice and continue your stitching. Some days you may find the moment you sit down and begin stitching your body relaxes and the mind stays focused with little or few instances of wandering. Other days you may find it challenging to stay focused and for the body to relax. Either situation is neither good or bad, it's just what is happening with you that moment. In each case, the method of practice doesn’t change. Some days will be easier and others not so much. The key here is in avoiding giving over to judging, criticizing or wanting what is happening to be different than it is at any particular moment. No matter what is happening in our body and mind as we craft the task is to continue stitching, one “/“ or “\” at a time.
Ending a Contemplative Practice Session
When the time for practice comes to an end. Take a moment to pause, observe the breath for a few cycles, then with a gentle, compassionate mindset, look at what you have accomplished. Again, refrain from judging or criticizing the work. If you notice a mistake, just make note of it, and continue to observe your work. You may want to keep a journal and record any observations regarding your process and the creative work. (See how to keep a Creative Contemplative Journal)
After pausing and journalling (if you are keeping a journal), mindfully put away your project and materials. While doing so, try to let your movements be slow and deliberate. Really notice your body moving as you pack away the tools and project into its bag or box. There is no need to hurry. Let the process be relaxed and enjoyable. When everything is put away. Give yourself one more moment to sit, close your eyes, and observe your breath as it is moving in and out. While observing the breath, allow yourself to feel gratitude for having taken time to practice contemplative crafting, which helps reduce stress and encourage wellbeing.
Then open your eyes and move on to the next task, and if possible, continue to do so with mindfulness and ease as much as possible!
When the time for practice comes to an end. Take a moment to pause, observe the breath for a few cycles, then with a gentle, compassionate mindset, look at what you have accomplished. Again, refrain from judging or criticizing the work. If you notice a mistake, just make note of it, and continue to observe your work. You may want to keep a journal and record any observations regarding your process and the creative work. (See how to keep a Creative Contemplative Journal)
After pausing and journalling (if you are keeping a journal), mindfully put away your project and materials. While doing so, try to let your movements be slow and deliberate. Really notice your body moving as you pack away the tools and project into its bag or box. There is no need to hurry. Let the process be relaxed and enjoyable. When everything is put away. Give yourself one more moment to sit, close your eyes, and observe your breath as it is moving in and out. While observing the breath, allow yourself to feel gratitude for having taken time to practice contemplative crafting, which helps reduce stress and encourage wellbeing.
Then open your eyes and move on to the next task, and if possible, continue to do so with mindfulness and ease as much as possible!
Dealing With Mistakes
Making mistakes while crafting is an inevitable part of the creative process. We might feel annoyed when we make careless mistakes and downright frustrated when we discover a mistake we made that results in having to undo a large portion of--or sometimes all--the work we just did. It's perfectly normal to feel frustrated. However, making a mistake is not a bad thing. Mistakes are good teachers about being present and the importance of focus.
When learning a new craft or new technique, we will make mistakes, there is no avoiding it. Patience and compassion is the remedy. It takes time to learn and the more we focus on the craft the better we learn. When we respond to mistakes with anger and self-recrimination, we inhibit our ability to learn and we often end up making more mistakes. Gently remind yourself as you correct the mistake that you are learning and with each mistake you are learning more about the craft and bettering your stitching skills!
Most of the time mistakes are a result of not focusing on the work at hand and letting our thinking distract us. Rather than get upset, thank the mistake for reminding you to shift your focus away from the thoughts and onto the crafting. You might need to pause a little more often and review your work to make sure you haven't made any mistakes out of unmindfulness.
Sometimes we get eager to complete a section of the work and we hurry, which can lead to careless mistakes. Counted cross stitch can get really messed up if you unknowingly miscount and keep on stitching. You may not notice the mistake for a while, then suddenly become aware that something is not quite, eventually leading to a lot of work undoing many stitches. Counted cross stitch is meant to be a slow art. That is, pleasure is derived in the making, and not in rushing to get it done! Slow down, and return to the foundation of contemplative crafting: breathing and paying attention to each stitch as they are made. Direct your awareness to the crafting and away from those thoughts that distract and draw you away from what you are doing right in front of you.
Mistakes are only a problem if you think they are a problem. Instead of thinking of mistakes as a problem, just acknowledge them as part of the process of creating and do your best to correct the mistake and continue crafting with mindfulness, patience and compassion.
Making mistakes while crafting is an inevitable part of the creative process. We might feel annoyed when we make careless mistakes and downright frustrated when we discover a mistake we made that results in having to undo a large portion of--or sometimes all--the work we just did. It's perfectly normal to feel frustrated. However, making a mistake is not a bad thing. Mistakes are good teachers about being present and the importance of focus.
When learning a new craft or new technique, we will make mistakes, there is no avoiding it. Patience and compassion is the remedy. It takes time to learn and the more we focus on the craft the better we learn. When we respond to mistakes with anger and self-recrimination, we inhibit our ability to learn and we often end up making more mistakes. Gently remind yourself as you correct the mistake that you are learning and with each mistake you are learning more about the craft and bettering your stitching skills!
Most of the time mistakes are a result of not focusing on the work at hand and letting our thinking distract us. Rather than get upset, thank the mistake for reminding you to shift your focus away from the thoughts and onto the crafting. You might need to pause a little more often and review your work to make sure you haven't made any mistakes out of unmindfulness.
Sometimes we get eager to complete a section of the work and we hurry, which can lead to careless mistakes. Counted cross stitch can get really messed up if you unknowingly miscount and keep on stitching. You may not notice the mistake for a while, then suddenly become aware that something is not quite, eventually leading to a lot of work undoing many stitches. Counted cross stitch is meant to be a slow art. That is, pleasure is derived in the making, and not in rushing to get it done! Slow down, and return to the foundation of contemplative crafting: breathing and paying attention to each stitch as they are made. Direct your awareness to the crafting and away from those thoughts that distract and draw you away from what you are doing right in front of you.
Mistakes are only a problem if you think they are a problem. Instead of thinking of mistakes as a problem, just acknowledge them as part of the process of creating and do your best to correct the mistake and continue crafting with mindfulness, patience and compassion.